So, it started off in a home I didn't know, and I was with some friends, searching this home at night for kicks, we heard that it was haunted, and so we wanted to know what was up.
I remember beginning to sense that people were there, and I told my friends, hey I think people are here, we started lookin and sayin 'hello? Anyone here' sorta stuff. I guess I was the only one that felt a presence, cause my friends got bored and took off, but I stayed.
Of course, I felt that feeling like your being watched but it was a full moon that night,and light was seeping in from the windows, just giving enough light around the home, to make faint shadows of everything.
I started noticing that some of these shadows were moving. They only moved when I wasn't looking straight at them. Out of my periphery, I could see them quickly dart away. But the shadows seemed like nothing more than blurs.
But I guess I was adiment that these blurs or shadows were something else. I started talking to the shadows, and trying to coax them to do something to me, and the shadows began to move more,right in front of me, and soon I was being attacked and swept by these shadows. It didn't hurt, it just felt like wind. So I sort of started laughing at them, and a few shadows, came in front of me and materialized as people, but they were dark like shadows, almost sillouette's. One asked why I was laughing and I just told them I thought ghost were funny. And they said 'we're not ghosts. What are ghosts?' and I told them that they were the spirits of dead people, and they became really inquisitve and said 'people die?' for whatever reason, the concept of death and birth was foreign to them. And I sat down with these shadows, that looked human, only dark and grey, and almost flat like paper.. And I asked them 'well if your not ghosts, what are you?' and they said 'we are dark matter' and I woke up
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
I wrote this a while back and never finished. Unfortunately, I don't know where I was going with it, but I see now that it's pretty cool.
Does this begin with an opening sequence?
This visual Life, is it mirrored for me?
That's your life, that I pretended was mine,
till I saw how it ended and I pulled on the breaks.
So here I am now.
Screaming, "Oh my lord, not me as well!"
Close the curtains, and close up the casket.
All I ever looked for was the lives of the others.
Never focusing on the destiny of my very own.
I skipped that bridge, when I saw another get burned
I drove across the United states when I saw the plane dive.
Does this begin with an opening sequence?
This visual Life, is it mirrored for me?
That's your life, that I pretended was mine,
till I saw how it ended and I pulled on the breaks.
So here I am now.
Screaming, "Oh my lord, not me as well!"
Close the curtains, and close up the casket.
All I ever looked for was the lives of the others.
Never focusing on the destiny of my very own.
I skipped that bridge, when I saw another get burned
I drove across the United states when I saw the plane dive.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I feel like I'm going crazy tonight. Its probably that I need more sleep but I am fit to be tied. Emphasis on feeling tied. I think I get in these moods where I feel like I can't be satisfied, I can't scream loud enough, run fast enough, or laugh hard enough. Ecstacy seems the goal and it is unreachable. Is this what a druggy feels like coming off a high? Sure makes me not wanna do that stuff huh? Uggh.. So many things I wish I could say. So many things should say. But this is nor the time nor the place. Maybe someday my words will have a place. Until then.. I guess I just have my music
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Another chill day. I'm listening to DJ shadow, and chillen in borders, cause my job effing rocks. Anyways, I went to a customers house this morning, and when we finished, my co-worker asked the gentlemen at the door, 'what is that tattoo of on your arm?'. I hadn't noticed his arm before, and at a glance his tattoo looked more like a scar of a surgery, because the coloring was read. I was very glad my co-worker asked what it read because it was written in gaelic. The quote said
'what we do in a lifetime will echo through eternity.'
How rad is that? It made me think. I'm really happy with my life as a wole for the most part. I could be in so many different situations, and i've made som dumb mistakes, but at the same time were totally necessesary for me to learn what life is. Can we really expect ourselves to not screw up? Life has taught me:
The difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block is how you use it.
its the same as the lemon/lemonaide metaphor, but I feel like this relates better for me. I just wanna live a life that I can look back at and be proud of. Just like any builder or artist does with his or her project. We can only ask, did we use the skills we have for ourselves to the best of our ability, and our life, will be symbolically like a dedicated artists, masterpiece. One would hope.
Into the eternities, I know god will understand that I am no scientists, and my works in science will be but a miniscule portion compared to a gentleman like Albert Einstein. I know this. But god will see my strength in the arts, and see my strengths with my personality, and see that I have done my best to utilize them in a way to help other people in there hunt/quest for solice/nirvana/heaven. I just wanna be there for people so that my good works will echo through there voices, into the eternities that I was a good person
'what we do in a lifetime will echo through eternity.'
How rad is that? It made me think. I'm really happy with my life as a wole for the most part. I could be in so many different situations, and i've made som dumb mistakes, but at the same time were totally necessesary for me to learn what life is. Can we really expect ourselves to not screw up? Life has taught me:
The difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block is how you use it.
its the same as the lemon/lemonaide metaphor, but I feel like this relates better for me. I just wanna live a life that I can look back at and be proud of. Just like any builder or artist does with his or her project. We can only ask, did we use the skills we have for ourselves to the best of our ability, and our life, will be symbolically like a dedicated artists, masterpiece. One would hope.
Into the eternities, I know god will understand that I am no scientists, and my works in science will be but a miniscule portion compared to a gentleman like Albert Einstein. I know this. But god will see my strength in the arts, and see my strengths with my personality, and see that I have done my best to utilize them in a way to help other people in there hunt/quest for solice/nirvana/heaven. I just wanna be there for people so that my good works will echo through there voices, into the eternities that I was a good person
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Synthetic vs Organic
The concept came to me while reading a book in Barnes and Noble today. It's kinda my new thing. Whenever I have a break, I find a book store, and I read a book, till I have to go to my next job. Books are my friends here.
I digress, so as I was reading, I was relating to the character of the story, and was noticing how my experiences matched his, or how they matched my friends, and then I also noticed how, he learned from others experience, and I thought about how I learn from other peoples experiences.
I've come to realize that there are two different variations of experience. They are, (of course) 1st hand experience and 2nd hand experience. I find these two terms to be very limiting, and very non-descriptive. I would prefer to use the terms, Organic (1st hand) and Synthetic (2nd hand) experience in life.
I suppose we need to understand the different concepts of what Organic and synthetic is. If you were took look up the terms for Organic and Synthetic, you may find a definition similar to these:
Organic - noting or pertaining to a class of chemical compounds that formerly comprised only those existing in or derived from plants or animals, but that now includes all other compounds of carbon.
Synthetic - noting or pertaining to compounds formed through a chemical process by human agency, as opposed to those of natural origin
We can see by there very definitions, the hints of how this may compare to human experience.
Organic experiences in our life, are experiences that we create for ourselves. A good example of this, is the concept of fire that every child must find when he is young. When a child grows, he is told by his guardians, "Do not touch the fire it's hot." The child must learn from personal(organic) experience that the fire is in fact hot, and hot enough that it will cause him pain. These Organic experience are felt all throughout life.
There are also Synthetic experiences we learn in life, that are very important. Synthetic experience are experiences we learn through the experience of others. For example, a human may avoid, substance abuse, because their friend or family member may have been addicted to a substance. They learn without ever experiencing personally the affects of this substance abuse, because they see what it has done to a loved one. They have learned to avoid the situation.
Organic and Synthetic products have become very important in our lives as we know it. They are in the clothes we wear, the food we eat, and in the drugs we take. Though potentially debatable, both synthetic and organic products are important in life. Synthetic is of course much more easily produced, and there is a lot more opportunity for synthetic products. But we find more often than not, that organic products are of a higher value. I would hope to relate this as well to the experiences of human life.
Although synthetic experiences are important, and save us the hassle of learning "the hard way", organic experiences in life, sometimes must be achieved. The concept of love and friendship and faith, are a few examples of experience, that can only be stood fully, in an organic atmosphere. It is true, that a person can learn love synthetically (or 2nd hand). But the experience is never truly like the real thing.
At the same time, synthetic experiences being what they are, are felt, seen, heard very often and can easily substitute for the 'real thing.' It takes less time, all too often, it takes less heartache, pain (be it physical or mental). We learn to extract through another's organic experience, the synthetic properties that will aid us in keeping ourselves warm, clean, and healthy.
I probably should take some time, and really write this into a stronger essay, with more scientific reasoning, but I'm mostly writing this on the fly, with the thoughts that are already on my head. What are your thoughts?
I digress, so as I was reading, I was relating to the character of the story, and was noticing how my experiences matched his, or how they matched my friends, and then I also noticed how, he learned from others experience, and I thought about how I learn from other peoples experiences.
I've come to realize that there are two different variations of experience. They are, (of course) 1st hand experience and 2nd hand experience. I find these two terms to be very limiting, and very non-descriptive. I would prefer to use the terms, Organic (1st hand) and Synthetic (2nd hand) experience in life.
I suppose we need to understand the different concepts of what Organic and synthetic is. If you were took look up the terms for Organic and Synthetic, you may find a definition similar to these:
Organic - noting or pertaining to a class of chemical compounds that formerly comprised only those existing in or derived from plants or animals, but that now includes all other compounds of carbon.
Synthetic - noting or pertaining to compounds formed through a chemical process by human agency, as opposed to those of natural origin
We can see by there very definitions, the hints of how this may compare to human experience.
Organic experiences in our life, are experiences that we create for ourselves. A good example of this, is the concept of fire that every child must find when he is young. When a child grows, he is told by his guardians, "Do not touch the fire it's hot." The child must learn from personal(organic) experience that the fire is in fact hot, and hot enough that it will cause him pain. These Organic experience are felt all throughout life.
There are also Synthetic experiences we learn in life, that are very important. Synthetic experience are experiences we learn through the experience of others. For example, a human may avoid, substance abuse, because their friend or family member may have been addicted to a substance. They learn without ever experiencing personally the affects of this substance abuse, because they see what it has done to a loved one. They have learned to avoid the situation.
Organic and Synthetic products have become very important in our lives as we know it. They are in the clothes we wear, the food we eat, and in the drugs we take. Though potentially debatable, both synthetic and organic products are important in life. Synthetic is of course much more easily produced, and there is a lot more opportunity for synthetic products. But we find more often than not, that organic products are of a higher value. I would hope to relate this as well to the experiences of human life.
Although synthetic experiences are important, and save us the hassle of learning "the hard way", organic experiences in life, sometimes must be achieved. The concept of love and friendship and faith, are a few examples of experience, that can only be stood fully, in an organic atmosphere. It is true, that a person can learn love synthetically (or 2nd hand). But the experience is never truly like the real thing.
At the same time, synthetic experiences being what they are, are felt, seen, heard very often and can easily substitute for the 'real thing.' It takes less time, all too often, it takes less heartache, pain (be it physical or mental). We learn to extract through another's organic experience, the synthetic properties that will aid us in keeping ourselves warm, clean, and healthy.
I probably should take some time, and really write this into a stronger essay, with more scientific reasoning, but I'm mostly writing this on the fly, with the thoughts that are already on my head. What are your thoughts?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Oh man, its so great to be in California. I feel rejuvenated. I'm sleeping enough. I can actually get out of bed and not dread the day ahead of me. I'm in beloved state, and in the area I've dreamed of living for more than a year for. I'm happy. I've got a steady pay check. I can actually remember my dreams now again. This is all very important to me. I'm not as depressed as I was. In sales, I just had too much time to myself to reflect on my life. Too much time to dwell. I know the saying is, "Idle hands are the devils tools" and its totally true, in a scattered sorta way. I was a devil to myself. It's good to have a job where I feel I finally have purpose, and that I'm doing something for somebody else. That's only how I ever feel motivated for anything I guess.
With all this positive energy that I am pushing forward, I am committed to eating healthier, and experiencing food like I used to when I was younger. I used to always cook when I was younger. I used to bake chocolate chip cookies that were famous. Ask Paloma Printy Dunlap. She'll tell ya. I used to cook Asian food like nobody's business. Now it's time a for a new chapter.
Now its time for dips. Well, at least for this week. I made home-made salsa Monday, and its gone now. It was great. Even without cilantro (I accidentally got parsley in my rush to leave). Right now in the oven I have a new dip. I made artichoke-jalapeno dip. Which I'm sure will be really really good. Someone last night made an artichoke dip, and it was actually pretty lame, and I thought to myself, You know what? I can make this better. So I did. And my new thing now is I'm gonna list my new recipe's I've found and list them here. I dunno who will actually follow my recipe's but who cares. I'll give my opinions about them.
I dunno if I would consider this a new chapter in my life, that's a tad extreme, but it's time for me to rediscover my love for cooking. It's been too long. I'm really good at it. Time to get back into the game, and time to eat healthy. No more eating out :)
My jalapeno dip :)
* 1 (14-ounces) can artichoke hearts (not marinated), drained
* 2 cloves minced garlic
* 2 Jalapeño pepper, diced fine (may use pickled Jalapeños)
* 2 tablespoons jalapeno juice
* ½ cup sour cream
* 8 ounces cream cheese
* ½ cup mayonnaise
* 1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 325º. Cut up artichoke hearts. Mix all ingredients and artichokes together with mixer. Pour mixture into baking dish. Bake uncovered until lightly browned on top (about 45 minutes to 1 hour). Serve with pita chips or tortilla chips
(update!!!!!)
Success! It wass soooo good, and suprisingly enough, could have used more jalapenos. I didn't want to burn my roommates mouths. So it was perfect for them!!!! YAY! Yep, I'll be savin this one fo sho.
(update!!!!! number 2!)
I was gone all day Sunday. I was in Sacramento. My roommates ate all of my dip, it was so good. Grrrrr...
With all this positive energy that I am pushing forward, I am committed to eating healthier, and experiencing food like I used to when I was younger. I used to always cook when I was younger. I used to bake chocolate chip cookies that were famous. Ask Paloma Printy Dunlap. She'll tell ya. I used to cook Asian food like nobody's business. Now it's time a for a new chapter.
Now its time for dips. Well, at least for this week. I made home-made salsa Monday, and its gone now. It was great. Even without cilantro (I accidentally got parsley in my rush to leave). Right now in the oven I have a new dip. I made artichoke-jalapeno dip. Which I'm sure will be really really good. Someone last night made an artichoke dip, and it was actually pretty lame, and I thought to myself, You know what? I can make this better. So I did. And my new thing now is I'm gonna list my new recipe's I've found and list them here. I dunno who will actually follow my recipe's but who cares. I'll give my opinions about them.
I dunno if I would consider this a new chapter in my life, that's a tad extreme, but it's time for me to rediscover my love for cooking. It's been too long. I'm really good at it. Time to get back into the game, and time to eat healthy. No more eating out :)
My jalapeno dip :)
* 1 (14-ounces) can artichoke hearts (not marinated), drained
* 2 cloves minced garlic
* 2 Jalapeño pepper, diced fine (may use pickled Jalapeños)
* 2 tablespoons jalapeno juice
* ½ cup sour cream
* 8 ounces cream cheese
* ½ cup mayonnaise
* 1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 325º. Cut up artichoke hearts. Mix all ingredients and artichokes together with mixer. Pour mixture into baking dish. Bake uncovered until lightly browned on top (about 45 minutes to 1 hour). Serve with pita chips or tortilla chips
(update!!!!!)
Success! It wass soooo good, and suprisingly enough, could have used more jalapenos. I didn't want to burn my roommates mouths. So it was perfect for them!!!! YAY! Yep, I'll be savin this one fo sho.
(update!!!!! number 2!)
I was gone all day Sunday. I was in Sacramento. My roommates ate all of my dip, it was so good. Grrrrr...
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