Thoughts about tonight.

I'm back in Seattle.

I'm back into my insomnia. It's just temporary. I think too many people these days suffer from insomnia. I saw a commercial tonight for chia pets of obama... I laughed. Alot. I later found out chicago walgreen's banned them. That made laugh too. Can't say I blame em... I would have been surprised to see a green afro on a black man. But we have dennis rodman. So nevermind on that. Throw-back pepsi should be thrown out. I'm gonna miss Conan O Brien but I think 7 months is a great amount of time for him to make a monumental come back. How did I ever spend 8 hrs a day playing video games? I have no patience. Everything that hamburger helper makes, taste the same. What's it taste like? Hamburger and cheese powder. Lady GaGa is a woman, and a damn fine one. I really like that no one is attracted to her.. cause that means I have her all for myself... woooooooo some couples make me cringe. One couple in particular on my facebook will be amazing together if they get married because they're so effing psycho. If they break-up I will be so excited to watch the violence that ensues.. but I have to keep completely silent as not to offend either of them and miss my window of opportunity, but their idiocy is staggering. It's like 3:30 in the morning and I cant stop coughing... Poison the Well is a lot of fun to listen to... My ears will be ringing by the time I actually lay my head down and fall asleep. Rawr... I may update this tomorrow, but you'd never know if I did.

Dear lord,

If this is my path then guide me because I cannot see it. I fasted and I prayed, and I told you my goals, so help me achieve. Lead me by light. If it's not a light, then let it be a voice. If it's not a voice, then let it a be a feeling, and let that feeling guide my steps. I will completely fail if I don't trust in your hand.

This is my prayer.
Amen.

Frustration

Just a general frustration.

I wish I had an honest COMPLETELY honest no biased opinion of my voice. When I record, I think, wow, this sounds sooooo good! and I get it down, and I hear the song by itself, and its grand. Then I sing. And when I'm singing, I think, I'm in tune, and I feel my voice this should be good. Then it's played back, and I think, ok, it's not that bad. But it's not great. And then I sing the whole song, and I have finished product. I show it to my friends. The moment I turn my song on, and I hear my voice, I cringe!!! I freak out and run for the stop button saying, "I sound hoorrrriibbllle" you can't listen..

Some people have issues with weight. Some people have issues with there looks. I have an issue with my voice. I wish I could just love my voice. But then I wish I could sing. And I feel like I can't. So therefore I don't love my voice. I gotta figure out a way to get over this. Maybe never sing again. :(