Head rushes are fun.

It's late I know, but tonight has been a good night for contemplation of sorts.
I haven't talked to anyone really at all today except for a few texts that tied the knots of a few conversations from the previous night. Altogether the day has been simply all about me. No one asking for favors, no wanting to hangout, no one really wondering how I am. Simply me time. Though today this was not the case, this "me" time can be difficult actually. Some people need that alone time. I suppose I need it too sometimes, but I wasn't really looking for it today. It just sort of happened. I did a lot of thinking. Here are some of my thoughts. Ready? Go.

I think some people went out tonight; I didn't get invited. I think I'm ok with that I think. I'm glad to know where I stand. Sounds weird if I were just to leave it like that, but what I mean is, I know where I stand with these people. I see their smiling faces at church and at different events, and I know they're just doing it to be nice. I appreciate that. Thanks for making it not awkward that you don't actually get me. Silly people really, because I suppose they can't handle anything that my be out there, or unorthodox. Still the same, I don't mind.

I'm glad I had something to do tonight even though I didn't go out. There's nothing else worse than when you are sitting at home, wishing you had something to do. That is where emotionally you drain or yourself- or at least I do. I hate not having purpose! It's the worse feeling in the world. You sit, and stare and wonder, What the hell am I doing? What should I be doing? Why am not doing it? Wait, what was I doing? Oh ya. Nothing. That's horrible!!! I'm so glad that's not how things were tonight

I was doing nice things for very nice people. I am making a craft niknak thing. It's pretty coo. I was inspired because of a blog. I have referred to it in a previous post about "I could do that"... The "I could do that" is a craft that I am making for my friend, and I can't wait to give it. It's gonna be awesome. I hope I don't give anything away by publishing this post.

My hands are so sore though, I was screwing in these little eyelets into a piece of wood, and oh man, my fingers hurt soooo bad. Labors of love, I say! It's that feeling you get when you haven't been playing your guitar like you should for a while, and your press down on the strings, and after 15 or 20 minutes of playing you fingers are super sensitive and you don't wanna press down on anything. That's this.

I had a really good nap earlier. Thank you to my brother for waking me up, before I slept through the whole effing night. That would have really screwed up my sleeping habits. So here I am writing a post recounting my adventures of today. Work today, I felt alone. or distant from friends and family. I think it's slightly because I was tired. I didn't feel depressed as I accounted to one of my friends who had text me (she had been bragging that she was at the beach and it was 78 degrees, that bitch, just kidding /no bitch) it was a feeling of silence and slight distance as if you're on your own private island for a day. The great feelings of being on your own private island superseding the feelings that it would be nice to have someone with you. That's what it was today. It was refreshing.

I got work done. I'm almost done with my craft project. I have church tomorrow. I'm gonna finish my project and then work on studying for my classes. It's been, and it's gonna finish to be a good weekend.

:)